#BreaktheSilence

Emotional Intelligence.

It’s a real thing beautiful people. And sadly, so many people lack the basic skills and understanding of what it is. Case in point, someone I’ve known since I was 17 just recently found out my son passed away. When he was trying to give me what I guess you might call words of encouragement, he attempted to make a connection that would me feel like he understood what I’ve been through. And what I’m continuing to go through every day since losing Kam. He failed, obviously.

He’s a father of two, but only gets to see one. That’s the comparison he chose.

Melissa 6 months ago would’ve went bat shit crazy. Don’t you ever compare the fact that the child you had as a very young adult is not easily accessible due to the person you chose to have him with. At the end of the day, he is still living, breathing, etc. My son isn’t. End of story.

The Melissa today, politely told him that there is no comparison. Though I know it must be awful to have your child kept away from you for no good reason, at the end of the day, you have the options to go through the court systems and whatever else to gain access back to him. I do not have that same luxury. So I explained this.

I will never get to hug my son again. Or watch him grow up. I’ll never see him hit a baseball, or fall in love, or graduate from med school and become an amazing man. Ever. I do not have that luxury. So although you may not see your child right now, physically it is not impossible for you to accomplish that. Or for him to do any of the above things that my son will never get the chance at.

I definitely am not holding it against him. He’s a good guy, and I know it goes back to the fact that people just don’t understand and they want to say something. Say anything. So I appreciate the need for people to feel that, and show me they care. And even though it may not always be the right thing said, but let’s be honest, there is not a right thing to say, it is promising that people are willing to talk about it.

I’m a huge supporter of the #breakthesilence movement regarding infertility, miscarriage, and infant loss. It literally happens to 1 in 4 pregnancies. That’s 1 in 4 people. So why are we so focused on the fact that Kylie Jenner received a $260K car for her 18th birthday from her rapper boyfriend, and not this? I certainly don’t know 3 other people that even have the slightest chance of that happening for them. Guess how many people that I do know that cannot conceive, even though they’ve been trying for years? Or the ones that try and try, and then lose their baby either during the pregnancy or shortly there after? You guessed it. About 100. Or more.

Let’s talk about it. We need to talk about it.

I’m here when you’re ready.

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