City Dove

I remember when the Timehop application first came out for Facebook, Twitter, Intagram, etc. I was super excited initially, because let’s be honest, how could it not be fun to see what you were doing 1, 2, 5 years ago. I actually do still laugh at my posts from 6 six years ago when I was a young, wild college student without a legitimate responsibility. Those were some good days. With even better social media updates. I had way too much boy drama, and disposable cash. Both reflected in the amount of posts regarding wine and shopping trips with my lovely girlfriends.

Oh, how those times have changed.

I knew coming into this year that Timehop would be an emotional landmine, and it is. Or it can be. I don’t want to say everyday, because my posting has significantly slowed down over the past two years. Even when I was pregnant with Kam I didn’t make any announcements about it until after I already knew his gender. So some days I am still just getting to enjoy those ridiculous posts from 2009.

Which brings me to today.

And let me just preface this with saying, I’ve been anticipating this for about a week now, because I knew I was coming up on the time when I really began to post about him socially.

One year ago today, I had the ultrasound that confirmed that Kam was a Kam, and not an Alaia or a Vivianne. Although those girl names were never 100% confirmed. I just loved them both at the time. I actually think Kam’s dad might have shot down both of those at some point, but you don’t even want to know how many names got shot down before we landed on Kamren.

I didn’t make the announcement about Kam until the next day I believe, but I did post a selfie that I still remember every detail about taking. Even the caption read, ‘sometimes life gives you the most amazing blessings, and you don’t even need a filter to capture it. :)’ 

Honestly, I probably won’t even open my Timehop tomorrow, only because I don’t know that I’m emotionally ready to see any of those initial posts right now. Maybe when they roll around next year I will. We’ll see how I feel tomorrow.

But, I also write this today because today is a day of so many strange coincidences that I’ve been seeing all over social media. Then again, I know there are no such things as coincidences. Only signs.

There’s another mother in one of my support groups that lost her gorgeous little girl Bella one day before my Kam. Bella was mixed like Kam, had the sweetest face possible & a head full of jet black hair like my boy, so I’ve always felt connected to her. And today, Bella should be turning one. But she isn’t. The same day that I found out the little human I was growing was a boy, which was everything I was praying for, is the same day that sweet Bella was born.

Today is also the day that a childhood friend of mine announced that the baby the she is carrying is also little boy. She found out yesterday I believe, but finally made the announcement today. A year ago, I was her. I pray that next year she is not me.

I also found out today that another mama that was pregnant the same time as me, initially with triplets due to IVF, and who ended up losing two during the pregnancy and also her little girl shortly after birth, is undergoing IVF again thanks to the generosity of her doctors taking it upon themselves to pay for it this time around. This is amazing to me since I know how expensive that is, so the fact that her medical group is doing that  for her and her husband gives me hope. I love when good people show themselves to the world, for completely selfless reasons. I hope to be in her situation next year. Not the IVF, but maybe prepping for another child at some point. Or even just being in a solid relationship with someone who i can eventually build to that point with. Hopefully there will be good news from her family soon.

What a crazy difference a year makes. Some blessings and other tragedies. Either way it goes, there’s no escaping the 365 days, or 525,600 minutes that occur from one to the next. I’m just hoping the majority of my next 525,600 bring more smiles than the previous months have seen. Timehop or not.

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