Things I’ve learned in the past week

1) Summer colds are the absolute worst. Seriously, horrible.

2) I’m not a big fan of medicine that’s not absolutely necessary, therefore I don’t typically take any and just let my body ride it out. I’m rarely ever sick and when I do get sick it seems to go away pretty quickly. This time I caved, probably due to jet lag and just general sadness, took nighttime cold medicine, and am now the proud owner of another Kate Spade handbag. I will not be taking anymore tonight, because there’s no telling what order confirmation I’ll see when I check my email tomorrow morning.

3) Coming home from vacation is a lot harder than leaving for one, and the weight of my son’s absence seemed absolutely unbearable once I was back home.

4) I really only miss my son’s father on the days when the internal ache for my Kam won’t subside. Obviously the correlation between the two is not a coincidence, but it does help me realize that I no longer miss him as a person. This is a good sign I think, since he’s not the person I fell in love with two and a half years ago.

5) The Shark Steam & Mop has significantly changed my life. Especially with Florida summers, constant rain, and a dog who insists on finding every single puddle of water possible.

6) There are absolutely no ‘at leasts‘ in child loss. This was hard for me to understand for a while. I’d see people who had their rainbow babies, or older siblings, and think, well at least you have your other children. It doesn’t matter. There’s not a difference, nor do the other kids make it easier. They’ve still lost their child. And it sucks.

7) I should apologize to Kam’s dad for thinking he had it easier since he still had Kam’s older brother. I’ll do that later I’m sure.

8) I feel a thousand times better after being back in the gym. Two weeks out is entirely too long and my body definitely felt the effects.

9) The little things, the little moments that you experience with someone – they aren’t little. Remember that.

10) Antidepressants are absolutely necessary and probably something I’ll need for the rest of my life. That doesn’t make me feel bad, or feel like a failure. They help. I need them. I’m not ashamed of that.