I officially feel like an ’empty nester,’ as of yesterday afternoon.
Let me elaborate on that.
Since I’m going back to Florida at the end of this week for Kamren’s birthday, I took Lola down to my parents house since that’s the most comfortable solution for everyone involved. I could have kept her longer this week, but then I would have had to drive down and back up in one night after work, and I really didn’t want to do that.
Initially I thought maybe it might be a nice little break. Not having to worry about getting her out every morning, fed, etc.
But (comma, however) the second I walked into my house yesterday afternoon, I just felt so lonely.
Again, let me elaborate on that.
I’ve never really been away from Lola, at least outside of small vacations, etc. But definitely not in my everyday life. She has been the one constant for me for the past 2 years. She literally is the one living being that kept me alive after we lost Kamren. She allowed me to still have someone to care for. She needed me. She was the only one left that needed me to stay alive. And I needed her.
Ironically enough, the last time I was away from her for an extended amount of time like this was when I delivered Kam.
I’ve called my mother two times today just to ‘check’ on her. As if a dog with 80+ acres of land, 6 other dogs, and countless other farm animals available to her wouldn’t be doing okay. I’ve gotta admit I was a little sad when my mama told me she’s been just fine, and hasn’t cried at all.
Does that make me sound awful?
I mean, I haven’t cried either, not yet anyway. But seriously, I woke up multiple times last night, and that’s with me sleeping better than usual since I wasn’t fighting her for bed space, and was sad that she wasn’t there laying on top of me in some way, shape, form or fashion.
I’m one of those people who would rather see a person get hurt than an animal. Honestly. I just feel more towards them I suppose.
Maybe I’m gonna be one of those crazy dog ladies when I get older. You know, like the cat kinds. I just could never be the cat lady because I couldn’t deal with all the cat hair. Or those attitudes they have. I’m probably gonna be forever single with like 10 dogs. Yikes! (although, let’s be honest. I probably wouldn’t hate that either.)
I’ve only mildly contemplated driving back down to my parents to pick her back up, and then take her back again later this week. Even now, as I sit here typing this, uninterrupted for the first time ever, I still kinda wish I had her giant paws hitting the back of my MacBook fighting for the attention I’m giving to this post.
I guess it’s true what they say. Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it.